


Duelists Playing Poker

by RoyaltyOverReality



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyaltyOverReality/pseuds/RoyaltyOverReality
Summary: The student council plays strip poker, despite the fact that none of them know how to play strip poker. Cross posted from pillowfort.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Duelists Playing Poker

“POKER!” Saionji shouted, smashing a four of clubs down onto the table.

At first, he had been doing this with face cards and aces. But as he learned that the rules Touga made up for strip poker didn’t have any rhyme or reason, Saionji had started doing this with every card in his hand. He seemed to be trying to annoy Touga, Miki, and Nanami into declaring him the winner of the game.

“Go fish,” Juri said apathetically.

Even though she wasn’t playing cards with the rest of the council, she still had plenty of commentary on the game.

“Well, you’ve already taken off your shoes, socks, and jacket so you’re going to have to take off your pants now,” Touga said smugly.

Nanami made a retching sound as Saionji begrudgingly did what Touga said, mumbling curses under his breath as he took off his pants.

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t how this game is supposed to be played,” Miki said. 

“You’re just mad because I wouldn’t trade you my seven of diamonds for your three of spades,” Nanami said.

“There are no trades in poker,” Juri said.

“But this is strip poker!” Touga said.

“You said poker when you weren’t calling a poker! Draw six cards!” Saionji shouted.

“Then you have to draw 12 cards,” Touga said.

“Wait, are we supposed to be getting rid of cards? I thought we were supposed to get as many cards in our hand as we could,” Nanami said.

“Nobody ever made that rule,” Juri said.

“Yeah, but it seemed like what everyone else was doing!” Nanami folded her arms across her chest.

“No, Nanami. It’s not about having the most cards. It’s about having the fewest cards while also having the highest score,” Touga said condescendingly.

“Then why do we keep calling poker?” Saionji asked.

“Only you keep doing that,” Touga said.

“Draw six cards!” Nanami shouted. “You said the p-word when not calling a p-word!” 

“Is there a strip p-word rulebook I can look at?” Miki asked.

“Have any of you ever seen a picture of people playing poker before?” Juri said.

“If you know so much about how to play p-THIS GAME, then why aren’t you telling us?” Nanami asked indignantly.

“Because playing strip poker with you four sounds like the worst possible way to spend my afternoon,” Juri said.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point Juri. This isn’t very fun,” Miki said. “Unless we start using the actual rules, I’m done playing.”

“Okay, give me a second. I’ll ask the Ends of the World. I’m sure he knows how to play,” Touga said.

Touga disappeared into the elevator, where he seemed to think nobody could hear him. However, the rest of the student council could clearly hear him dialing a number into his cell phone.

“Hello? Yeah, it’s me Touga. Do you know how to play poker?”

“Of course it’s strip poker! Who do you think I am?”

“Mm-hm...Mm-hm...Mm-hmm...Sounds good. I’ll let them know.”

“You know that we could all hear you, right?” Juri asked when Touga stepped out of the elevator and sat back down at the table.

“Juri, be quiet! You’re going to offend my big brother!” Nanami said.

“Thank you, Nanami, but it’s alright,” Touga said. “The Ends of the World said that we’re playing the game right. And that there’s actually a rule that says nobody is allowed to know the rules, except for the Poker Master. And that the Poker Master can say the word poker as much as he wants without having to draw a card. Now let’s keep playing until somebody wins!”

“I still don’t know how to win though!” Miki protested.

“You’ll figure it out eventually,” Touga said.

“Not if I figure it out first! POKER!” Saionji shouted, smashing his entire hand of cards down onto the table.


End file.
